30.96647% - Total Geek

March 10, 2004 · 2 min read

30.96647% - Total Geek

Yeah, I'm a Total Geek. I think the Geek Test (link via Rai) is flawed though. First of all, it asks many questions that pertain more to nerds than geeks. I strongly feel that I should be AT LEAST 50% Geek. Why is it that people assume that geeks and nerds are the same?!?!? After all, we geeks are just cooler than nerds. I don't know a single geek that has a pocket protector! Nerds have pocket protectors! Geeks don't dress up as movie characters when they go see a movie, Nerds do!! I'M NOT A NERD. I'M NOT A NERD.

Okay, let me break this down using examples from the Geek Test.....

  • “done homework for somebody else“ - NERD
  • “taken notes in more than one color“ - What The? How does this make you a geek? Sounds more like a cheerleader to me!
  • “"that guy" at a concert “ - Geek? Couldn't he just be an alcoholic or a junkie experiencing the advanced stages of Syphilis?
  • “dumped at a Star Trek convention“ - Most definitely a Nerd!!!
  • “talked to plants to help them grow“ - Come On! How do you get geek points for this? Really?!?!?
  • “never turned down a date“ - It doesn't make you a geek simply because you haven't had any bad offers for dating. One could simply be obese. And as much as Obesity tends to agree with me, I don't think a person should be awarded geek points simply because they are of a rotund nature.
  • “I believe that I am a vampire“ - Really? So now evidently blood-sucking equals geekdom. Hmph, who would have thought?
  • “I own a four-color pen“ - Sounds more like a bubble-gum popper to me.
  • “I wear glasses“ - I refuse to accept that wearing an invention so that you can actually see the world would make you a geek.
  • “I wear as little brand name clothing as possible“ - What if you don't wear brand name clothes because they are so expensive? Now at least we know that being poor = being a geek. How enlightening....

So what have we learned? Well, according to the test, I have learned the true definition of geek:

A geek is a bubble-gum popping, cheer-leading, welfare-subscribed syphilitic plant lover with poor eye sight.

By that definition, perhaps I don't want to be a geek.....

[note: this is all tongue in cheek. I do not want to bad mouth or discourage the creator of this geek test because I actually happen to like the geek test and encourage more like it.]

I @M G33K, 48-45-41-52  4D-45  52-4F-41-52!!!!

This article is part of the GWB Archives. Original Author: Jason Olson

New on Geeks with Blogs

  • We Won The One Award I Actually Care About

    Full Scale made the Inc. 5000 for the fifth year straight, the 12th listing across my three companies. Here is why the one award you cannot buy is worth stopping for.

  • Your Customers Build the Features Now

    I let a tool I liked sit dead for a year rather than build the features I wanted. An MCP server meant I never had to, and your customers can do the same to your product.

  • Get the Size of a Directory in Linux the Easy Way

    du -sh for the quick answer, ncdu for the cleanup, df for the disk itself: every command for checking directory size in Linux, plus why du and df never agree.

  • Vim Search and Replace: The Ultimate Guide

    One :%s command replaces every match in a file before a find dialog would even open. The Vim substitute patterns worth the muscle memory: flags, ranges, capture groups, and multi-file edits.