Life is sometimes sweeter than we realize. Sometimes we just forget to see it. We complain about work, bills, co-workers and spouses and sometimes forget to look at how awesome our lives really are.
I LOVE being a programmer. I've done a lot of different jobs and I didn't come to programming until my mid-to-late twenties, so I've experienced some really crappy jobs that paid even crappier. At my current job, I was given the freedom to choose how I would develop this new project, what language, what tools and what people. I've failed as much as I've succeeded so far (but I fail fast), and my boss hasn't blamed me once for my failures. It's been awesome and overwhelming.
I also Love my wife. I dated a lot of different girls, some were great and I screwed it up, and some were just screwed up. I feel like now all those failures were simply meant to lead me to my current wife. We've been married 11 years in January and we've been together for 15 years. I couldn't imagine caring about anyone as much as I care for her.
I have a nice house in a nice neighborhood. I don't have a NICE house in a NICE neighborhood, but I am not struggling to work out where the money for the mortgage is coming from every month either, and there is plenty of money left over for dining out, movies, etc.
I am also planning the first (that I know of) Kansas City Day of .Net. We are almost full on registrations (only 2 seats left), and an absolutely outstanding line-up of speakers and topics. The vendors are clamoring to help sponsor the event, and we've got an XBox 360 Pro for a grand-prize giveaway! Everything for the event is coming together nicely.
Sometimes I let myself get dragged down into self-pity or self-doubt. It consumes me. There's a name for a complex (I wish I could remember or find a link) where you're in constant fear that people will discover that you don't know what you're doing. I think we all go through it. In those times, I think it's important to take stock of what you DO have.
I just thought I'd share this in case anyone else is feeling overwhelmed or doubting their abilities. Stop. Breathe. Remember the good things you DO have and who loves you. It always makes me appreciate how sweet life really is, not just because the alternative sucks, but just because you have WAY more than you realize sometimes.
Okay "Chicken Soup" moment over. Back to the code.