What would you get if you married Ambrose Bierce's Devil's Dictionary…
CYNIC, n.
A blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, not as they ought to be. Hence the custom among the Scythians of plucking out a cynic's eyes to improve his vision.
…with the engineering adage Murphy's Law…
If there's more than one possible outcome of a job or task, and one of those outcomes will result in disaster or an undesirable consequence, then somebody will do it that way.
…?
Murphy's Dictionary: an ongoing series of definitions of what words really mean on a typical development project.