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Buhay Programmer Dont byte more than you can chew

 I've been staring at the computer for a few minutes now and I honestly don't know what to write.  First I thought of writing about myself, where I was born, where I studied, where I am now... but that seems shallow.  Now that I thought about it.  I'd rather not talk about who I am because it seems irrelevant right now.  What I really want to say is..

I'm sad.  Been like this for quite some time now.

Nobody knows I'm sad.

I tried telling my wife but I guess she didn't think it was serious.  We were having a fight when I told her so she probably thought I was just making up an excuse for my behavior.

I'm not sad every single day.  Some days I'm perfectly fine.  I actually have no idea when I'd feel sad.  It just happens. I'd wake up cheerful and then before I go to bed I already feel depressed.  I have no idea what triggers it.  On the bed, I'd turn my back to my wife, curl up into a fetal position and start sobbing silently. Awful. 

 Maybe you're wondering now what's the cause of all this.

My grandma passed away and I haven't completely  come to terms with that fact.  I long to see her, talk to her and hold her... but I can't do that anymore because she's gone.  I will never be able to hear her voice and feel her touch again.  To make matters worse, the only person whom I wish would stay beside me whenever I'm feeling miserable and dejected is never around.  She's either working late or out with her friends.  Such is my life at the moment.  I doubt it will improve anytime soon.

Posted on Saturday, June 29, 2013 8:17 AM | Back to top

Comments on this post: To my lola

# Don't be alone
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If this post is an accurate look into your head, you need to make sure you're not alone. Reach out to those around you - and don't take no for an answer. Being told to "harden up" might be common - but it's wrong.

Here's a site you might find useful:
Left by Bevan on Jun 29, 2013 10:53 PM

# re: To my lola
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When I read your title "To my lola". I was confused !.

Actually I have also a Lola "My Best friend". It is Rabbit (female). I have spent a lot of time with it. He like to sleep with me and I like it that someone sleep over me. I feeling of having Child everytime on my eyes.

Before March When I got it I have also Sad. I recommanded you to have a animal puppy (whichever you like).

I live in Joint Family (single-house multiple family) I hate it when it come to give my lola to someone else. I really Miss it.

Now I remember those time which I have spent with those little child. They look pretty nice. The person who take my lola confirmed after few days that it is died. A dog have eat it.

Shit, A good story end BAD. I really not like those thing happen to me. Now I thing that maybe we have relation before this life. Maybe in past life.

Not sure, what it is. But I love the time I spent with you. Sorry, I really don't know which lola you talking about but this is my story and I love to shre it.

Left by Anirudha on Jun 30, 2013 6:28 AM

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