I bought F a new mouse (I'm such a nice guy):
F - (Opening the box) "Microsoft Basic Optical Mouse ... Someone doesn't know how to market their products! Whatever happened to Deluxe? Ok, so it means the same, but 'Basic' is such a pejorative term to use!"
F - (Disappearing under her desk) "Oh, can I just pull out the old one, or will I need to re-boot or shutdown the machine?"
P - "No, I think XP supports the 'hot swapping' of this kind of thing"
F - "Hot swapping!" F laughs, plugs in the mouse, and returns to her seat to watch the unfolding drama.
F - F laughs at the Popup that appears. "New Human Interface Device Detected!" adds, "but it didn't say Newly Hot-Swapped Microsoft Basic :-( Mouse Human Interface Device Detected" - laughs even more.
F - Picks up the booklet that comes with the mouse - "Why's it got 108 pages in it!?" - she falls to the ground laughing.
P - Checks, then adds "It's only got 17 pages that are in English".
F - (Frowning) "Well, that's not very 'green' is it! And, all the same, do you really think that 17 pages are really necessary?"
P - "Ok, maybe not. Look just throw it into the 'Bit Bucket'"
F - Is taken to hospital with her sides splitting open.