Four starcraft owned by galactically-registered prostitutes hovered over Phoenix late last evening, each illuminated with the traditional mark of the trade: a red light. The markings on the side of two craft indicate they are from the galaxy "Sextans", NGC 3115, which is seen in our sky near the constellation "Hydra". (Although the name of the spindle galaxy "Sextans" sounds provocative, its name comes from "sextant", which is a nautical measuring instrument.)
The galactic prostitute registry requires that sex workers be "chipped" with a biometric monitor to ensure the incurable AIDS virus found on Earth is not introduced on a galaxy-wide scale. As such the error of the four is likely to go under investigation by the Empire.
Many speculate that the four femaloids had intended to set up shop for the evening at the popular planet Aphroditius that orbits the nearby star Alpha Centauri B. Rodney Stahl, director of NASA's extraterrestrial monitoring center in Roswell, NM thinks that the four had gotten off course in the final leg of the journey after teleporting into the nearby vicinity. "After all, Aphroditius is less than 5 light years away from Earth, and its features are remarkably similar," explained Stahl in a phone interview.
The whole event lasted about ten minutes, at which point the quartet likely wondered why their red light hadn't yet attracted any business. Their ships huddled for a few minutes to get their coordinates, appearing from below as a single bright red flickering light. Soon thereafter they teleported out of the solar system.
(OK, there is actually a little grain of truth to this story... Last night I witnessed this phenomenon, which is now the second UFO sighting I've had. I just wanted to find a fun way to explain what the heck those pulsing red lights could be. Plus I didn't do anything interesting for April Fool's this year, until now!)