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Lorin Thwaits A geek says what?

Four starcraft owned by galactically-registered prostitutes hovered over Phoenix late last evening, each illuminated with the traditional mark of the trade: a red light.  The markings on the side of two craft indicate they are from the galaxy "Sextans", NGC 3115, which is seen in our sky near the constellation "Hydra".  (Although the name of the spindle galaxy "Sextans" sounds provocative, its name comes from "sextant", which is a nautical measuring instrument.)

The galactic prostitute registry requires that sex workers be "chipped" with a biometric monitor to ensure the incurable AIDS virus found on Earth is not introduced on a galaxy-wide scale.  As such the error of the four is likely to go under investigation by the Empire.

Many speculate that the four femaloids had intended to set up shop for the evening at the popular planet Aphroditius that orbits the nearby star Alpha Centauri B.  Rodney Stahl, director of NASA's extraterrestrial monitoring center in Roswell, NM thinks that the four had gotten off course in the final leg of the journey after teleporting into the nearby vicinity.  "After all, Aphroditius is less than 5 light years away from Earth, and its features are remarkably similar," explained Stahl in a phone interview.

The whole event lasted about ten minutes, at which point the quartet likely wondered why their red light hadn't yet attracted any business.  Their ships huddled for a few minutes to get their coordinates, appearing from below as a single bright red flickering light.  Soon thereafter they teleported out of the solar system.

(OK, there is actually a little grain of truth to this story...  Last night I witnessed this phenomenon, which is now the second UFO sighting I've had.  I just wanted to find a fun way to explain what the heck those pulsing red lights could be.  Plus I didn't do anything interesting for April Fool's this year, until now!)

Posted on Tuesday, April 22, 2008 4:03 AM | Back to top


Comments on this post: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius

# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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This is funny... great imagination!
Left by RB on Apr 22, 2008 8:06 AM

# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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Lorin - you used to work at Keane a long time ago didn't you? I recognize that name!
Left by Chris on Apr 22, 2008 10:56 AM

# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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Yup, Keane is an old haunt, where I trained several "NEST" (new employee) classes, and was the network administrator. I started there over a decade ago now! My how time flies.
Left by Lorin Thwaits on Apr 22, 2008 8:40 PM

# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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Red light district in the sky. Nice.
Left by Craig S. on Apr 14, 2009 2:34 PM

# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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i love this article
Left by ed hardy shoes on Aug 12, 2009 8:59 AM

# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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This is really funny. Believe me i was reading it with so much of interest and trying understand it seriously.
You did a great job....
Left by Highest CD Rates on Dec 02, 2009 2:16 AM

# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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If you want knowledge, you must toil for it.
Left by tungsten carbide on Dec 16, 2009 2:06 AM

# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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Your imaginations are praiseworthy. I can never think like that. Thanks for the idea. Mind blowing imagination.
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# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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this looks terrible. lol
Left by Drew Brees jersey on May 27, 2010 2:32 AM

# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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at which point the quartet likely wondered why their red light hadn't yet attracted any business. Their ships huddled for a few minutes to get their coordinates, appearing from below as a single bright red flickering light. Soon thereafter they teleported out of the solar system.
Left by troy polamalu jersey on Jul 09, 2010 4:11 AM

# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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Keep up the good work.
Left by designer leather bags on Jul 31, 2010 7:33 PM

# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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You do a great job. I never see something like that.
Left by dezmembrari auto online on Aug 07, 2010 6:54 AM

# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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I believe you will get what you want.
Left by Crystal jewelry on Aug 13, 2010 3:48 AM

# re: Galactic hookers likely mistake Earth for the nearby planet Aphroditius
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This is funny as hell, earth is really beginning to look like Aphroditius.
Left by קייטרינג חלבי on Aug 27, 2010 4:53 AM

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