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There's nothing like the smell of charred lung in the morning...

I hate waking up to the smell of cigarette smoke. I hate smelling it for the first 30 minutes to an hour that I'm awake. My nose processes the smell differently than normal and my lungs take an extra hit of nastiness.

I used to smoke a pack in a month, back when I would drink because there's nothing better to do than smoke when you drink. Well there is video games, pool, and a couple of other activities that can be fun but usually you have a beer in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

Needless to say I kicked what small habit I had back when I stopped drinking. It was never much of a habit to begin with. The problem is I've lived with this cloud of poison around me as long as I can remember. I love the fact that my parents cared so much that they couldn't step outside or anything. I guess after all, it is their house, and they can do whatever the hell they want including killing me right along with them. Our house stinks though, literally. There's an odor to it when you walk in the door, and it's not lovely. No amount of air fresheners will ever remove this smell. It's deeply embedded in the dry wall and wallpaper which is noticeable by the yellow tint on our lovely once pure white walls. Want to see the effects of long term smoking on the inside of a house? I'll invite you over but you must furnish your own gas mask.

I'm sorry but smoking doesn't affect one person. It's widely known that poison is in cigarettes (arsenic I think, small doses) and that the smoke produced is bad for your health and everyone around you. Smoking can be categorized as a murder/suicide though it doesn't happen instantly. It isn't much different in it's affect, it will kill you and those around you eventually.

I mean it's one thing to be addicted to prescription medicine or narcotics. Those you take internally and they affect no one around you except the people there to clean up your mess, if you're fortunate to even have such people around you. I'd rather you do something like this because it won't affect me. I can let you stumble around on crack or whatever and the only time you'll affect me is if you try to rob me for crack money. I can deal with that though because the crack will impair your judgment enough for me to beat the crap out of you.

So how do I rid myself of this evil?

  1. Move out - I'd love to but I don't make enough money to support myself. I barely make enough to cover bills.
  2. Invent a smoker's bubble - This would work but it would kill people a lot quicker than smoking in open air. At least you'd get your precious cigarettes.
  3. Develop a biological agent that only affects smokers - This would work, but a lot of people would die. If not done right I would go right along with it since I've smoked before, just not in a couple of years.
  4. Die as a of result of second-hand smoke - Maybe then my parents would realize smoking actually affects more than just them.

1-3 look really promising. Moving out would cure me instantly. My girlfriend doesn't smoke, I don't smoke and when we do get married our house will be smoke free. Yes, my parents will get the lovely fortune of stepping outside before we have children. When we do have a child, I'm going to protect him/her unlike my parents protected me. No one who smokes will be permitted near my child until they're old enough to make their own choices and are developed enough to withstand it. My parents will have to quit smoking before they see their grandchild, period. I know it's harsh, but I wish they would have done this for me but then again my grandparents don't smoke. I value human life and since I will be in charge of someone else's life (my child) I will regard their life higher than my own. I can live with someone poisoning me without my consent, but I'll be damned if they try to do the same to my child. They deserve better, hell I deserve better but I can live with it.

I'm just tired of this. If I wanted to end my life, it would have been done already. The fact that I'm still here means I want to live, and I want to live to the fullest of my potential. Being around smokers 24/7 isn't going to help my health, it's only going to degrade it further. Thanks. I love you too.

Print | posted on Tuesday, June 15, 2004 9:57 AM | Filed Under [ Living on planet Earth ]

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# re: There's nothing like the smell of charred lung in the morning...

I understand you more than anybody else, I was an insensitive smoker too.
I smoked everywhere and didn't care about anybody, my addiction was more important than anything else.
If I didn't have a cigarette every hour on the hour I would turn irritated and with a bad temper.
I smoked two packs a day for twenty years.
I spent 40,000 dollars in cigarettes.
I smoked the value of a Mercedes and now I drive and old truck that's falling apart.
I slashed my lifespan in two, my lungs don't respond the same, I can barely walk.
I quitted smoking two years ago. Now I hate the smell of cigarette smoke.
I don't allow anybody to smoke one mile around me.
I feel now in my own flesh what it is to be next to a smoker.
I wish I knew how bad it was when I started.
Worse yet, I knew but I didn't care...

Have some compassion for your parents.
Try to understand their addiction.
I do.
6/15/2004 7:27 PM | ExSmoker
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# re: There's nothing like the smell of charred lung in the morning...

I think there's a disconnect from the effects. Because they're so long term and never immediately felt, one can easily shrug them off. Wheezing when walking up the stairs can just be signs of old age, not emphesema (sp?). If an illness affects slowly over time, one can almost deny the symptoms and be perfectly fine about it.

What I don't get is they've seen what smoking has done first hand. My step mother's mother had emphasema (sp?) and I vividly remember the episodes of her coughing up blood. They were the ones there to help her out during all of that, yet they don't seem to think it's what will happen to them if they keep it up.

I'm sorry for what's happened to you. I do understand why you said what you said. I mainly posted this out of frustration because I hate smelling it before my lungs have had a chance to function normally. I also am frustrated in that I don't know how to help. I want what's best for all of us, yet I'm so helpless in many ways. I just hate having to sit back and endure something I don't really want while also getting to see them slowly kill themselves more and more each day. It's useless and an utter waste of time, money, and energy.
6/15/2004 8:02 PM | Jeremy Brayton
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# re: There's nothing like the smell of charred lung in the morning...

thanks i agree with you even though im still a smoker. the reason i smoke is so you dont have to and we will all die ant ways so why not bring it on a little faster.
3/9/2005 10:31 AM | wicked joker
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# re: There's nothing like the smell of charred lung in the morning...

i know i was a smoker and had two packs a week. i was so addicted in just 4 months i found out i got cancer. good i found out earlier! now the cancer i gone. sometimes i think how stupid am i for making that decision when i could get addicted to lollies. i had no time for my friends anymore because cigarettes were my friend.
6/30/2005 3:59 AM | julia
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