D'Arcy from Winnipeg
Solution Architecture, Business & Entrepreneurship, Microsoft, and Adoption

Top Three Reasons Rob Conery Quit Microsoft

Thursday, August 13, 2009 2:03 AM

News broke today over at WekeRoad.com that Rob Conery has decided to turn in his blue-badge and go back to the solo-scene (cue that music from the Hulk series where Bruce Banner is always walking down the road alone while the credits role).

Now there will be much speculation on why Rob Conery chose to leave Microsoft. Some have already suggested that it was in a fit of jealous rage after hearing about Scott Hanselman’s promotion (which Rob has already stated isn’t the reason, and as you’ll see below comes nowhere *near* the more real possibilities).

So to help unravel this mystery, I present you with the top three reasons Rob Conery quit Microsoft!

1 - He’s Following In His Hero’s Footsteps

Rob is from Hawaii, and as such holds the same adoration, respect, and unhealthy level of hero worship that the rest of the island state’s population does for their world renowned official state hero! As such, Rob has decided to make the logical career progression from geologist to software developer to bounty hunter!


2 - He’s Pissed At Microsoft’s Dress Code

Microsoft has always held itself to a high standard of appearance, even for a company filled with geeks. So in a story that went mostly unnoticed, Rob had a *fit* at this past Tech Ed when he was informed that he would have to wear the company-dictated khaki pants and blue shirt instead of one of his many pairs of…wait for it…camouflage sweat pants! Even when a delegation of Alabama-based MVP’s and the entire Access product team coming to his defence, Rob was forced to leave the pants at home. Who knew that forcing a dress code would ignite such internal anger and rage!


3 - His Failed Bromance With Phil Haack Ended Badly

Oh sure, many people might think that the true love triangle in Microsoft’s ASP.NET team was the Hanselman/Haack/Conery tri-force of bromancification, especially with pictures like this floating around the internet…


But no! The true conspirator to Rob Conery’s demise was some fresh meat at Microsoft, and Phil Haack stepped up to it like a starving man in an all you can eat South American restaurant!


Spurned by his former colleague and betrayed for another DAL implementation, Rob had no choice but to sever ties and retreat to the hills of Hawaii to get in touch with his inner spirit and nature and other crap like that.

But Seriously…

Rob, we’ve watched you during your time at Microsoft brave webcasts with Ayende, spar with Bellware on Twitter, and reiterate your man-love for Trent Reznor and all things NIN, in addition to all the goodness that you brought to the ASP.NET team at Microsoft. Thanks for the work you did and for the opportunities you gave me for poking fun at your hair, dressing you up like a Care Bear, and creating a huge money making apparel empire utilizing your book picture.

While we know that the only thing that will change is where you get your paycheck from (I mean, you’re the only person I know that’s *never* changed their Twitter avatar since joining), we’ll miss seeing you at MVP summit (although I think this post serves as the beginning of the “Make Rob Conery an MVP” campaign) and other Microsoft events. But just like Christian recording superstar Michael W. Smith’s song Friends says…

“Though its hard to let you go, in the Father’s hands we know, that a lifetimes not too long…to live as friends.”

Your friend,



# re: Top Three Reasons Rob Conery Quit Microsoft

I love these posts, thank you D'Arcy! 8/13/2009 12:37 PM | Jeff Julian

# re: Top Three Reasons Rob Conery Quit Microsoft

Thanks D'Arcy :). You still *really* scare me but this made me laugh - a lot :). Also - those are shorts, not sweat pants! 8/13/2009 1:10 PM | Rob Conery

# re: Top Three Reasons Rob Conery Quit Microsoft

I am on a cruise ship right now and I just leaned over the balcony to yell "D'Arcy Lussier is awesome". It's a bit awkward now as the band has stopped playing and everyone is looking at me, but I think it was worth it. 8/13/2009 11:51 PM | Justice~!

# re: Top Three Reasons Rob Conery Quit Microsoft

Is this kind a joke? 8/20/2009 5:53 AM | Nyubi

# re: Top Three Reasons Rob Conery Quit Microsoft

was listening to hanselminutes about codeplex foundation and heard rob conery quit microsoft.
i bong it and stumbled across ur blog.
great post. can't stop laughing. 9/16/2009 3:40 AM | Ronald Widha

# re: Top Three Reasons Rob Conery Quit Microsoft

nice joke :), very entertaining i'll bookmark it 9/11/2012 4:53 AM | how to get rid of pimples fast

Post a comment