D'Arcy from Winnipeg
Solution Architecture, Business & Entrepreneurship, Microsoft, and Adoption

Who Needs ALT.NET when we have WATERFALLOOZA?!

Sunday, October 21, 2007 5:23 PM

Recently there was alot of buzz around the ALT.NET conference, and not just because it was overshadowed by the biggest break ups in recent geek history (link1, and link2). Unfortunately, many people were probably scratching their head wondering what all the fuss is about. If you were one of those people, then do we have the event for you! Announcing...

WATERFALLOOZA - The Conference For Morts!

We've got some insanely skilled speakers that will be talking on a variety of topics, including:

Outsourcing and You
Move that IT Development across the ocean to a timezone that is never in sync with you own and fuzzy faxes are the way to communicate your requirements. Software development done in a snap at half the time. Only you'll be the wiser that it'll cost 5 times the original bid to get it delivered on something that runs in the Northern Hemisphere.

Test Last Development
In the spirit of Getting Things Done, why waste time upfront to write silly tests that are going to change and need care and feeding. Using the Waterfall approach of waiting until the last irresponsible moment, write your tests after all the code is done. Then the tests really do represent how the system works and fulfil the promise of self-documenting code.

Burning Team
Why work 7 or even 8 hours a day when you can squeeze a full 12 hour day out of an entire team. Think of the amazing progress you'll make when you totally overdeliver the original estimates (that were padded with 20% anyways) and you burn the entire team only after 6 months of this pace. Your bug count will drop drastically (as nobody will have the energy to enter them) and you'll look awesome in the eyes of management, which is really the goal here isn't it?

UML as the Ubiquitous Language
Let's face it. Software developers in today's market are expensive. Why waste their precious time forcing them to learn the business language. Why not teach business users to speak the lingua franca of software development - UML? We can optimize the productivity of the development staff by enforcing rigid communication channels via highly expressive UML diagrams between the end users and developers. If end users cannot design clear sequence and class diagrams, they don't deserve new software.

BDUF - Solitaire for Architects
Tired of Minesweeper? Beat Solitaire too many times to count? Microsoft Pinball just not your thing? Why not become an architect and play Big Design Upfront (BDUF)? 
                                                                                      Solitaire       BDUF
Visual environment?                                                          YES            YES
Many hours spent rapidly clicking around the screen?      YES            YES
Fireworks at end of game?                                                YES            YES
Results in working software?                                             NO              NO

Don't miss our Chalk Talk sessions either:

Gantt charts: Why you're project MUST use it as its roadmap!

The Testing Phase – How to organize your project so all testing happens in the last 2 months

Visual Inheritence and your project (or how to utilize Copy and Paste effectively)

Why Code Reviews are a Waste of Time

Don't Buy the Hype: Conceptual Spec documents are the ONLY doc your project needs!

All of these topics and more will be waiting for you at WATERFALLOOZA (we don't have a venue or date yet...we're waiting to finalize certain work items higher up on the schedule before tackling those items).

D




Feedback

# re: Who Needs ALT.NET when we have WATERFALLOOZA?!

Burning Team:
Why stop at 12 hours a day....
When a certain company I know expected 17 hours a day. 10/23/2007 6:20 AM | Cam

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