New terminology for the Blog-o-sphere

Dave Redding — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 07:54:34 GMT

You ever dealt with some ass, where you just felt like applying a title? Well, I sure as hell do. So I have a point of reference, here are some terms you'll see me using occasionally.

Software Arsonist: Someone who pushes software out the door so fast that it's bug ridden and prone to fire (see Dry Software). Once the software is under intense fire fighting, the Software Arsonist will delegate others to put the fires out, while they send out massive amounts of email showing how much value they are adding, and looking for a pat on the back, for being able to put out the fires without actually "Doing" anything.

Ass Hat: Someone who knows so little about how~~you write software that they~~
Never mind that one

Software Consultant: Similar to a Software Arsonist, but instead of a pat on the back this guy wants money. So he'll be the guy smoking a cigarette, next to the Dry Software while holding a coin operated fire extinguisher.

Dry Software: Just like California, this code could ignite at any moment and cause a 4 alarm fire within any company. It's typically caused by setting incredibly unrealistic deadlines (Read: just plain dumb), and charging forward with a complete disregard for those pesky "Tiers" or any concept of loose coupling. Dry Software can typically be found under the banner reading "The app is only for a handful of people."

Holy Pants: Jeans you accidentally put on in the morning and are so tight they show everyone in the world what religion you are.

So there are a few I feel I made up (Yes damnit, Software Consultant is Mine!!), what are yours?

Here's a quote to go with from Stewie on Family Guy "Your cruelty merely stems from some deep seated inner pain, so the obvious remedy is a healthy dose of OUTER PAIN!"

Technorati Tags: Software , Blogging

Because I'm an Ass

New terminology for the Blog-o-sphere