Recruiter Fail

Dave Redding — Wed, 20 May 2009 20:08:26 GMT

So, a recruiter called me this morning around 10a. I work a FT job here in MI. So it Really irritates me when a headhunter calls out of the blue to discuss their recent "Opportunity" that I would be a "Great Fit for". I told her (not so politely) to email me and i'll respond. Here is that corrosponence.

Hi David,

It was gr8 talking to you, following are the details:

got your reference thru monster, there is a req for
Senior Developer WCF
Location: Livonia, MI
Duration: Permanent

Please send your updated resume with the following details:
Communication Skills:
Location:
Willing to relocate:
Availability:
Contact info:
Rate per hr (c2c/1099):
Visa Status
thanx

... was gr8 talking ...
Professionalism FAIL!!

Geetha, I operate on a multi strike system, And you struck out. Allow me to list how you have failed...
1.) You were Almost impossible to understand on the phone, If you can't effectively communicate with me, how can i be sure you have all the correct details for the gig?
2.) You called me during the work day without warning. I'm sure my current employer would LOVE to know that i'm speaking to a recruiter on their dime.
3.) You failed at proper email grammar. The term "Gr8" may be cute with your kids or that guy from the club, but for a professional email, it is a total fail.

Sorry, and better luck with your next opportunity.
Dave.

New terminology for the Blog-o-sphere

Dave Redding — Thu, 25 Oct 2007 08:54:34 GMT

You ever dealt with some ass, where you just felt like applying a title? Well, I sure as hell do. So I have a point of reference, here are some terms you'll see me using occasionally.

Software Arsonist: Someone who pushes software out the door so fast that it's bug ridden and prone to fire (see Dry Software). Once the software is under intense fire fighting, the Software Arsonist will delegate others to put the fires out, while they send out massive amounts of email showing how much value they are adding, and looking for a pat on the back, for being able to put out the fires without actually "Doing" anything.

Ass Hat: Someone who knows so little about how~~you write software that they~~
Never mind that one

Software Consultant: Similar to a Software Arsonist, but instead of a pat on the back this guy wants money. So he'll be the guy smoking a cigarette, next to the Dry Software while holding a coin operated fire extinguisher.

Dry Software: Just like California, this code could ignite at any moment and cause a 4 alarm fire within any company. It's typically caused by setting incredibly unrealistic deadlines (Read: just plain dumb), and charging forward with a complete disregard for those pesky "Tiers" or any concept of loose coupling. Dry Software can typically be found under the banner reading "The app is only for a handful of people."

Holy Pants: Jeans you accidentally put on in the morning and are so tight they show everyone in the world what religion you are.

So there are a few I feel I made up (Yes damnit, Software Consultant is Mine!!), what are yours?

Here's a quote to go with from Stewie on Family Guy "Your cruelty merely stems from some deep seated inner pain, so the obvious remedy is a healthy dose of OUTER PAIN!"

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Because I'm an Ass

Recruiter Fail

New terminology for the Blog-o-sphere