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As heard on Mondays...
I sent these to Rory minutes apart...
Dear Ask Rory,
Ok Mr. Know It All, I'm in a mite bit of trouble here. I was visiting
grandma at the hospital this afternoon, and I noticed one of her life
support machines looks like it's running Windows 2000. First, the
geek in me said, "wow, that's pretty cool, grandma has 'Intel
Inside'". Then the geek in me said, "hmmm, let's take a look…" so I
unplugged it and used my trusty Swiss Army Cyber Tool to take the
thing apart. Wow there sure were a lot of parts in there. I couldn't
find a CPU or a hard drive or a cooling fan or anything, and grandma's
colour started to look a little funny, so I figured I should put the
thing back together and plug it back in.
Here's the part where you come in, I got *most* of it back together,
but there were a few pulleys and springs and stuff I can't remember
where they go! I tried plugging it in anyways, but the screen is
blank, it's making a high pitched squealing sound and started to
smoke. I unplugged it again and was able to get the pulley and a few
more screws in, but now there are other parts that won't fit in
either! Her breathing is sounding a little funny, please advice? Dan
Dear Ask Rory,
Ok more trouble, now the other machines are starting to beep too, so I
unplugged some of them. I had another go at the springs, and I got
most of them. By the way, do you know of any ways I can solder
without actually having a soldering iron? Anything? Oh, and do you
know anything about those funny little paddle things you see on the TV
shows? I tried to get them to work but only managed to shock myself,
so I'm taking them apart now to try to fix *them* too. Shit, more
beeping, gotta run, please advice… Dan K
Dear Ask Rory,
Still having a little problem here with the machines, where they hell
are you? I think the paddles are broken for good now, so I tried to
flush them. Know anything about plumbing? Every time I flush, the
paddles sparkle and the lights dim a bit. Probably a bad pump or pipe
or something? Well forget about that, now it looks like grandma is
turning a shade of blue, any suggestions? Also, how are you making
out with that soldering help? I tried Google, but came up empty. Oh
more beeping, so now pretty much everything is unplugged except the
lights and my laptop… Gotta run, grandma's starting to twitch… Dan K
Dear Ask Rory,
What do you know about barricades? There was some more beeping, seems
I missed one pesky machine on the other wall, and now people are
knocking on the door outside. I need to get this fixed QUICK! I have
grandma's bed and the chairs all against the door, but every time they
slam into the door from the outside, everything shifts on the pile.
She's starting to twitch pretty something awful, she might end up
shaking the chairs and stuff I piled on her right back off. Also
she's making some pretty nasty sounds, so if you can't get back to me
soon, I think we can just forget it. Dan K
Dear Ask Rory,
Um never mind, forget it, Dan K
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