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so... the other day, I was at <FastFoodPlace> and in the mood for some fish fillet and cheese curds. I wasn't there for crazy, but I got some of that too.

Shortly after coming inside, this lady approaches us and asks if we left our dog in the car. (We did not.) I tell her no and resume my conversation.

This apparently isn't enough of an answer to satisfy her, so she tries again... informing me that he's really barking a lot (out in the parking lot.) So I give her my best indifferent look and say "sorry, not us" and attempt to resume my conversation.

She still couldn't let it go... and hits me with this one: "well, how would you feel if YOU were locked in a car." My first impulse was to say "well if it means not continuing this conversation... then I'd be all for it" but instead, I said something like... "LADY... NOT MY CAR, NOT MY DOG." to which she responded sullenly, "well... I know, I was just saying."

Fortunately (for us) at that point, someone else walked in to the restaurant... so she launched herself at them. "Is that YOUR dog outside barking in the car?? He's really upset." This scene repeated a few times as people emerged from the restroom, or went to refill sodas.

(At this point, I feel compelled to point out to you, the reader, that it was a glorious 60 degrees outside, and ever so slightly breezy. The temp in the car was quite likely around 65 at most, and well... some dogs just bark a lot. Especially when strange people are peering in the windows.)

Eventually she wanders off, going table to table, asking everyone about the "poor barking dog" in the car outside.

We place our order and go sit down. In the booth next to ours, there is a bag of stuff on the seat. Crazy lady has plenty of options to choose from, so of course she comes over to us and inquires if the bag on the seat in the booth BEHIND US is ours. (It wasn't, I said so.)

So she glances through the bag and then finds a seat in the booth adjacent to that one, while waiting for her takeout order. A few minutes later, an elderly man comes over and sits down in the booth that has the bag. She immediately turns around and inquires if its HIS bag. It is, he says. She explains that she thought someone left it behind. They did not, he explains. We attempt to tune her out.

Then, her food comes. We all breathe a sigh of relief as she leaves.

A couple minutes later, she comes back in. Apparently the dog is still barking and she just can't handle it. (My bet is that the dog was fine until she came over to the car again...) Now she's asking the staff to go table to table and find out who owns the dog.

She goes back out, come back in, accosts everyone she meets along the way. Finally a woman gets up and goes outside, to sit with the dog in the van, quite probably wondering why she cant just eat her meal in peace?

Satisfied, the dog lover goes outside and leaves. I feel bad for the family that had their meal disrupted, but happy that I can now eat mine in peace.

A few observations here... I know the animal lovers among you will cry foul at this, but lets take a moment and look at the facts. It was NOT hot, it was NOT cold, the dog wasnt out there THAT long, and some dogs just BARK (all the time.) Maybe they were on a road trip, and needed a break. Maybe it was none of this ladies business. Maybe she was just a self-righteous nosy pain in the ass. (For the record, that last one totally has my vote. I was there.)
posted on Friday, August 7, 2009 1:34 PM

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# re: Now offering "CRAZY" on the menu... 8/10/2009 11:37 AM Steven Cox
The wifey once told me of a similar incident.

She was picking up some package at the UPS store when some guy came running in about a baby left in locked car. This "baby" was ours, an 8-year-old who elected to stay in the mini-van playing his DS over going inside. Who could have easily opened the door and exited if desired. On a 50 degree april morning.

The zero-tolerance mentality is rampant in this country. It serves its purpose among those incapable of performing any rational thought on their own, I'd rather this goofball panic about my 8yo than *not* panic if it was a newborn on a hot summer's day, but the cost of dealing with idiots is... dealing with idiots.

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