I remember, when I was a child, my mom got an invitation to her 20 Year High School Reunion. I also remember thinking, "wow she must be really old if it's been 20 years since she graduated high school."
Funny thing, I don't remember if she actually went or not. We were living in Buchanan, VA, and her reunion was in Pineville, LA. She went to visit her family nearly every summer though, so she probably did go. I don't remember her talking about it all that much after the invitation, so who knows. (I guess I could ask her.)
Fast-Forward 31 years later and now I'm the one feeling old. I got an email from Classmates, informing me about my upcoming 20 year reunion. I'm in a similar situation as my mom... my reunion is in Buchanan, VA and I'm living in Minneapolis, MN.
I honestly don't know if I want to go or not. I couldn't wait to get out of that town as a kid, and while I've visited Buchanan over the years (it's been a WHILE) it's mostly been a fairly depressing experience. I can count on one hand the number of people I care about that still live there. On the other hand, I don't have enough fingers to count all the people I hope I never see again.
(To quote Marilyn Manson, "I wasn't born with enough middle fingers" and when I think of my high school years, it's true.)
High school really, really sucked. Some folks will tell you it did for everyone, but I honestly don't think so. I think there were a few folks who genuinely enjoyed it, mostly because they were making other's lives a living hell.
I'm pretty much at the top of my game right now, things are going well, and life is good. In high school, not so much. I was in trouble a lot. I skipped school constantly, was failing most* of my classes and didn't have very many friends. Had the concept of "Columbine" existed back then, I would have been a prime suspect.
(*by most, I mean all but 1. I had A's in my computer class, thank you.)
I didn't have a girlfriend for most of high school (unlike the redneck jock assholes who picked their future wives from the rising 8th graders), I wasn't a pothead, or a redneck, or a jock. I was smart, but a classic underachiever, so I didn't really fit in with the brainy kids either. I kind of floated from group to group to group... typically on the fringe, but with 1-2 friends in each social circle. I had my own little band of misfits. A skater punk, an artist/filmmaker, a brainiac, a musician, a pothead, a cheerleader and me. I have no idea where any of those folks are now, except one.
I quit school in 1988. The same year I should have graduated. That sounds dumb, but I was in no danger of graduating after a couple years of nearly straight Fs. Hell, I wasn't even a senior.
After leaving High School, I went to Community College for a bit. I spent most of my time working my job in the Computer Lab at school, and very rarely attending classes. I hadn't really changed much at that point, just gotten a little older.
Eventually, I gave up on that and joined the Navy. (There were a couple years of narrowly avoiding getting into a lot of trouble, prior to that point, but once I was in... I straightened up pretty quick.)
The rest is all on my resume.
I'm not the same guy I was back then. I have a lot of friends (some local, some remote), I've served my country, captured pirates (in the Carribbean, no less), almost killed Eric Clapton, seen the world outside of Buttcrack, VA (that's what we always called it) and I've realized by now that most of the people I hated in High School probably didn't hate me back. (I'm sure there were a few though...)
So why is it that I'm having such a hard time making up my mind about going back? The people who cared about me will be happy I've done well, and the people who thought I was a goner don't really matter (but they'll obviously be proven wrong.)
I may be a bit heavier, and the hair is certainly a bit thinner, and my arms are a lot more colorful, but it's a safe bet that nobody else looks quite the same either. So I don't think it's that.
Let's take a poll... who thinks I should go? who thinks I should pass? (and tell me why, in either case.)