Here is a funny one. well at least i think it is...


A short boy is like a 4'8" tree.

Haha I found this thing off of google because I am trying to find a good analogy to begin my paper with... sorry I don' think any of urs helped but they were funny :)

... dumber than two blind guys having a staring contest

...dumber then two bald guys fighting over a comb

....it's so hot, i was sweating like a whore in church

....it's hotter than two squirrels screwing in a wool sock behind a dryer

out.. like a fat kid in dodgeball

...she could swear like five Irish sailors in a spittin' contest.
...shaking hands with him was like grabbing a sock full of pudding.
...that boy was dumber than a bag of thumbs.
...as graceful as a cross-eyed hippo on a three-wheeled skateboard.
...slicker than snot on a doorknob.
...car shot through that tunnel like bacon fat through a goose.
...like, whatever.

Busier than a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't.

McBride fell 12 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty Bag filled with vegetable soup.

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and "Jeopardy" comes on at 7 p.m. instead of 7:30.

Her hair glistened in the rain like nose hair after a sneeze.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.

He was as tall as a six-foot-three-inch tree.

The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease.

Her date was pleasant enough, but she knew that if her life was a movie this guy would be buried in the credits as something like "Second Tall Man."

Long separated by cruel fate, the star-crossed lovers raced across the grassy field toward each other like two freight trains, one having left Cleveland at 6:36 p.m. traveling at 55 mph, the other from Topeka at 4:19 p.m. at a speed of 35 mph.

The politician was gone but unnoticed, like the period after the Dr. on a Dr Pepper can.

They lived in a typical suburban neighborhood with picket fences that resembled Nancy Kerrigan's teeth.

John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

The thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

more confused than a wood pecker in a concrete jungle.

working harder than a one armed brick layer in baghdad

tried to squeeze something as though he was squeezing a marshmallow into a money box

as slow as a heard of turtles stampeding through peanut butter

as sober as a judge

busier than a one legged riverdancer with athletes foot

About a task where a much bigger than necessary tool was used to do a task...

...talk about cracking a walnut with a sledge hammer...