In my days gone by when I was an engineer in Her Majesties Royal Navy this story did the rounds about the wonderful relationship between our pilots and the ground crew responsible for fixing the plane. A snag sheet was almost always produced by the pilot following a flight and the team responded as best they could….
Here is an example of the two halves working in harmony…….<cough>
(1 = The problem logged by the pilot.) (2 = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)
- Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
- Almost replaced left inside main tire.
- Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
- Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
- Something loose in cockpit.
- Something tightened in cockpit.
- Dead bugs on windshield.
- Live bugs on back-order.
- Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
- Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
- Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
- Evidence removed.
- DME volume unbelievably loud.
- DME volume set to more believable level.
- Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
- That's what they're there for.
- IFF inoperative.
- IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
- Suspected crack in windshield.
- Suspect you're right.
- Number 3 engine missing.
- Engine found on right wing after brief search.
- Aircraft handles funny.
- Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
- Target radar hums.
- Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
- Mouse in cockpit.
- Cat installed.
- Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
- Took hammer away from midget.
Just makes you think!