After it was confirmed by Chelsea Manager Avram Grant that Didier Drogba is not a diver the staff at Stamford Bridge have decided to call in the police for tonights match against Liverpool to locate the sniper who keeps shooting Mr Drogba. This decision is based on the facts that as defenders aren't knocking him down and he isn't diving then someone must be shooting him!
In an interesting turn of events last night Didier has been offered the part of Jacques Cousteau in aa ne film to be made this summer. A spokesman for the production company said "we have spent sometime looking for the best diver in the world for this part and on all accounts Didier is our man"